Why Change Really Isn't Very Fun. Seriously.

nathane — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:03:37 -0600

Let’s face it. The word “change” generally brings about equal measures of excitement and dread. “I’m going to lose weight” is an exciting proposition. Looking better. Feeling better. Buying new clothes. Hey! What’s not to like?

Oh yeah. The “losing weight” part.

We often articulate change as these large monolithic endeavors. We state change as the end result or intended outcome. But that’s not really true. Change is the sum of lots of crappy stuff we don’t want to do. That’s the real heart of the matter.

Think about it. “Losing weight” means a collection of the following types of items:

-eating less yummy, buttery food
-getting up early to exercise before work
-drinking less beer
-sweating
-eating more “steamed vegetables”

The list goes on. And while the end result is still attractive, the sheer amount of micro-changes involved is pretty staggering.

And that, my friends, is why most people don’t really like change. It’s simply a collection of all the things we don’t really want to do. Intellectually, change almost always makes sense. Emotionally, change is usually liberating. But in action, the conglomeration of small tasks, sacrifices, and discomfort that lead to change are simply not all that attractive.

So at this point, I’d love to pull some kind of Tony Robbins moment on you and give the secrets to making change not be so uncomfortable. That would be great. But I’m not going to.

There’s no easy way to go around change. There’s no way to actually pull of change without having to grapple with a whole host of things with which you’d probably rather not deal. There. I said it. Deal with it.

At the least, vocalizing the granular level of change liberates us from guilt or shame from the struggle we might be having with change. No worries. It’s natural. It’s just not excusable. The more uncomfortable the change, the more necessary that change probably is. Be okay with that. This might not be the most uplifting thing you read all week. But it’s certainly freeing when we can recognize that change is indeed difficult and that no one else really likes it either. That’s kind of liberating, isn’t it? Right?

What Happens When We Leave Culture to Chance?

nathane — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 14:58:36 -0600

Go to work. Look around you at the cast of characters who make up your professional existence. Inevitably, it’s a rather random (perhaps even motley) crew. And let’s face it, for the most part you had little to do with choosing the overwhelming majority of these people. It’s almost as if a plane crashed on an island and whoever was on the plane now is your new culture, your new community.

So now you’ve got each other and little else for your daily survival. That’s just a fact. This begs some serious questions. But I have one large one that I’d like to proffer:

IF THE CREATION OF A CULTURE IS LEFT TO CHANCE AND ACCIDENT, IT WILL INEVITABLY SKEW TOWARDS THE NEGATIVE.

I’m obviously not the first person to make this suggestion. Remember Lord of the Flies anyone? But I want to think of this within an organizational context. For the most part, I think organizations do a shockingly haphazard job of intentionally creating culture. Think about it. In a school setting, by the end of the first week of school kindergartners know how to raise their hands, stand in line, and listen politely. They have a natural pattern and language to their day. We’ve even told them the rules for going to the bathroom. In other words, we assume that since they’re little kids, we need to teach them explicitly what we expect of them. If left to their own devices, it might not be a pretty picture.

But adults in an organization? That’s a different matter. We’re apt to throw a bunch of random adults into a workplace and ASSUME that they’re mature adults who will play nicely with one another and learn over time what the cultural mores are. Phooey! Hogwash!

That’s a horrible assumption! Adults aren’t always mature. And left to our own devices, I’m afraid that our cultural practices are as likely to lean negatively as they were for Piggy and Jack and anyone not holding the conch.

So question #1: Am I wrong to say that without being intentional and daily about developing positive cultures that adults will turn negative?

And #2: How intentional is your organization in purposefully connecting the adults who landed on your island?

Please note, I’d love to be told I was wrong.

Fight the Flow!

nathane — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 11:42:33 -0600

Lately I’ve been playing with an image that seems to be working with people. Here it is:

click for larger image

So here’s my thinking.

Take a look at the BLUE line. This represents stress or chaos. It could be personal or organizational. The high points of stress could be parent-teacher conference week. Or state testing days. Or year-end budget reviews.

Or personally it could be a week where everything is due at once. Or things at home have run amok. Or you haven’t slept well in a week.

Whatever it might be, the BLUE line shows the normal up and downs of any given day, week, or even longer period.

The WHITE line is our personal and organizational reaction to that stress. While perhaps overstated by this image, I fear we too often have an inverse reaction to stress – a reaction that exacerbates the stresses exponentially.

Quite simply, when we are at our most stressed, we’re almost most apt to hunker down in isolation from others. When we are the most tired, we are most apt to eat poorly and exercise less. When we’re our most out of sync with our best nature, we’re most likely to act out unnaturally to those around us. Organizations tend to follow suit. When things are the tightest in our workplaces, our relationships with others and general collegiality are often the first things to fly out the window.

So what about the RED line?

The RED line is what I WISH more people and organizations did in times of stress. I wish when things got the most tense, we elevated even further our connections with others. When things got the most toxic, we would employ our kindest behavior. When we’re stretched to our outermost limits, that’s when we would take the best care of ourselves.

So how about you? How about your workplace? Does this hold true? Which lines resonate with your present experience? What changes if you and those around you become more RED line and less WHITE line? How would that change the experience you’re having?

Scholastic Article: "Make Your School a Better Workplace"

nathane — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 11:45:39 -0600

Scholastic magazine recently interviewed me (and Search champion Scott Butler) for an article about improving school workplace cultures. It’s full of great examples of teachers working to make work work!

Enjoy: http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=3755228

An Interview With Nathan Eklund: What Kids Need to Succeed

guestblogger — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 10:51:00 -0600

PBS channel 8 took advantage of the opportunity to interview Search Institute Senior Education Consultant, Nathan Eklund, during the BigTent Conference in Houston, TX. Watch the full interview, where Eklund explains the 40 Developmental Assets, and how Search Institute has successfully "put language and research around good intentions".

Clarity Through Audacity: Setting Big Enough Goals for Ourselves

nathane — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 13:11:17 -0500

I’ve had the tremendous privilege of sitting front row as people around me have been embarking on audacious quests. And I’m a better man for it.

This is Mary.

After a year of training, she just competed in her first Ironman triathlon. For those of you not familiar, this is an insane event in which athletes swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and then, just for fun, run a full marathon.

Mary trained and trained and trained and then trained some more. Then she went out and crushed it. She wanted to finish her race between 12-14 hours. She did it in 11.5. That’s just silly.

And while we’re on the topic of triathlons, this is my friend jMatt.
As I write this, jMatt is boarding a flight to Hawaii where he’ll compete in Ironman Kona. That’s the Ironman you see on NBC every year. The one in the lava fields. Where people are blacking out and getting carried away on stretchers. That race. You have to qualify for Kona, so only 1,800 of the world’s greatest athletes get to compete. jMatt is one of those athletes.

And this is Scott Butler.
He’s been a client, a collaborator, and most importantly, a good friend for years. He has done more with my book and my work than any school administrator in the country. He’s a middle school principal who runs the sort of school any of us would be lucky to work at. Over that past two years he took the ideas of my book and turned them into a PhD. So I used to partner with MR. Butler. Now I partner with DR. Butler!

So what does this all mean to us “normal” people? What advice am I about to impart? Sign up for an Ironman? Get your PhD? Climb Everest?

Not exactly.

What I would like to point out is what happens to the human experience and the quality of life for people who find a focus and set their minds to audacious goals. Small goals are good. “I’m going to clean my desk today” does indeed lead to a clean desk and a mild sense of accomplishment.

But true accomplishment comes on the back of audacity. As I wrote about in my book, noted psychologist Albert Bandura studied how it is that people develop self-efficacy. He wrote:

If people experience only easy successes, they come to expect quick results and are easily discouraged by failure. A resilient sense of efficacy requires experience in overcoming obstacles through perseverant effort. Some setbacks and difficulties in human pursuits serve a useful purpose in teaching that success usually requires sustained effort. After people convinced they have what it takes to succeed, they persevere in the face of adversity and quickly rebound from setbacks. By sticking it out through tough times, they emerge stronger from adversity.

In that light, the challenge isn’t then to necessarily create personal goals. The real challenge is setting personal goals that are challenging enough to elicit the greatest version of our own being.

So to Mary, jMatt, and Scott, three of the audacious people in my own life, I thank you for giving me a model of outlandishness. I follow humbly and joyfully in your wake!

The Promise(s) of a New School Year

nathane — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:59:32 -0500

I had the privilege of being the opening day speaker for a number of school districts this fall as staff transitioned from summer to fall. It was in the midst of that transition that I really tried to focus people’s attention on the experience they were about to have.

With that in mind, I’ve written a list I’d like you to consider signing off on. Pick and choose the ones that fit you best. Share your list with a colleague. Or with your spouse. Or your best friends.

This year I promise:

… that my showing up at work on any given day won’t make anyone’s work or life more difficult.

… that when I’m tired, I’ll commit to adjusting my schedule so that I don’t run down.

… that if I’m still complaining about the same things I was complaining about last year I’ll work toward solving these lingering issues.

… to speak aloud the good things I’m thinking about others.

… that I won’t compete with anyone in trying to be more worn out, spread thinner, or more frazzled to prove how much I love my students.

… that if you catch me at a bad moment and I snap at you, I’ll apologize tomorrow.

… that I’ll stop assuming adults are mature.

… to end whatever “griping” conversations I have about work with the phrase “so what are we going to DO about it?”

…to find another job if I no longer enjoy being around young people.

I could probably go on. You can add your own. But I’m not kidding. Print this out. Put your own list somewhere where you’ll see it often. Share it with others so they encourage you.

The quality of the year ahead has more to do with you than you can imagine. It’s in your hands. Own it!

Giddy up! Have a great year!

10 Thoughts for a Meaningful School Year

nathane — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:54:17 -0500

1.If you’re going to take care of students, you need to take care of yourself.

Being in good health can’t be something that only happens on vacations and weekends. You need to spend time every day making sure that you’re taking good care of yourself so that you can take care of others.

2.Parents and teachers are each other’s best allies.

You only see your students a few hours out of their day. The rest of the time, they’re in the hands of other adults. Unless you’re on the same page with families, kids can slip through the cracks.

3.You like kids. Remember that at the root of things, you chose your profession because you like kids.

As the pressures and strains of the year naturally occur, make time each day to simply enjoy being around young people.

4.You might be the only positive adult in a young person’s life.

On any given day at any given time, you might be the very adult that gives a young person exactly what he or she needs to get through that day.

5.Sleep is not an optional activity.

Remember in midsummer when you woke up from a great night’s sleep and you felt ready to tackle the world? Remember that? Just sayin’…

6.The smallest efforts have a big payoff.
Take an extra moment to help a student understand a lesson. Offer a colleague a sincere compliment. Speak up when you see a parent providing support for school success. Sometimes your fleeting moments of thoughtfulness stick with people for years.

7.Are you having fun yet?

Yes, working with young people is serious business. There’s a lot at stake. But remember, too, that your job can be amazingly fun and funny. Don’t forget to laugh daily.

8.Put relationships first.

Spending time with your friends and family should not be seasonal activities. They miss you. And what about positive relationships with students? Slow down and make room for “human time.” You’ll all look back on this year and remember the relationships that mattered, not the test scores you achieved.

9.Learn something new today.

When is the last time you took a class or read for pleasure? Lifelong learning isn’t something we suggest to students. It’s something we model for students.

10.Do something today that reminds you why you chose to work with youth in the first place.

You didn’t choose this work because you wanted to go to meetings or to get caught up in the thousands of administrative details. You went into it for a reason. What was that original reason? And what are you going to today to connect you with that reason? Stop reading this list and go do it!

Literacy vs. Wisdom

nathane — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:24:21 -0500

So I had an interesting evening last week. I’ve been doing a series of community keynotes in the state of Minnesota on behalf of the Minnesota Alliance With Youth. In each community I’ve been speaking with community leaders about the critical importance of organizational and adult wellness as it pertains to the wellness of youth. If WE’RE not doing well, THEY’RE not doing well.

But last week I went to Marshall, MN and was placed into content far outside my comfort zone: their evening conference was for teens and about financial literacy.

Hmm… financial literacy. Search has a new site called BankIt which is a collaborative effort between Search and CapitolOne around financial literacy. So it’s not that we don’t know something about the topic. It’s just that I don’t know much.

So I needed to think creatively. The conference was called “Money Wise,” so I decided to take my lead from that and talk about the difference between “literacy” and “wisdom.“By definition, “literacy” means “a knowledge or competency in a particular area.” So there was little doubt that the young people and their parents were going to leave the event more literate in finances because of the panel of experts the hosts had assembled. But does that mean they’d leave any wiser?

For example, I asked the audience to raise their hands if they know smoking is bad for our health. Everyone’s hand went up. Then I asked if they knew someone who smoked. Everyone’s hand went up. So there was no lack of literacy in the dangers of smoking. But there was a lack of wisdom.

I attempted to create a clear distinction: literacy means very little unless we have the wisdom to do something with the knowledge we have.

I also took two main points of financial literacy and used them metaphorically for our own life experience:
1. Don’t spend more than you have.
2. Don’t buy what you want until you have what you need.

These aren’t just sound financial strategies, these are germane to how we live our lives. I was hopeful that the young people had a chance to reflect on how they use their time, talents, relationships, and goals in these broader principles.

Truth be told, the speech was probably the most fun I’ve had speaking in recent memory. Something about being forced to stretch outside of one’s comfort zone and to think creatively is really compelling. Probably another good life lesson.

By the way, a local reporter in Marshall wrote a brief piece about the evening: http://www.marshallindependent.com/page/content.detail/id/516746.html?na...

Teacher Appreciation Week: Yeah. But how about Monday?

nathane — Fri, 07 May 2010 10:24:51 -0500

So we’re wrapping up Teacher Appreciation Week. I’m not a cynic. I like this week. I like the idea of it. I’m glad we have it. But I’m also a bit leery of it. Here’s a passage from my book that illustrates my misgivings:

There’s something just a little off about Teacher Appreciation Week, at least if looked at in a certain light. My primary concerns go a little something like this.

1. If we think of appreciating teachers (or any other profession for that matter) as an annual event, we could fail to recognize the need for respect and appreciation on a more daily and ongoing fashion.

2. If teachers themselves buy into the idea that this week marks a departure from what might be an under-appreciated experience, we can grow increasingly complacent with a less than satisfying daily experience.

So again, I have no bones to pick with the concept of this week. I just don’t want us to think of a healthy, empowering work and community culture as a sporadic thing. This is the sort of work that needs deep and intentional nurturing all the time.

That said, THANKS TEACHERS FOR EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING! YOU ARE ROCK STARS.