By Mary Ann Krems and Dee Erlandson, PCAY
The Fall air is crisp as many cover up their still growing flowers and gardens. Your children now wait for the bus in longer pants and hoodies. It is the time for Homecomings at High Schools, Football games at all levels and who can miss the excitement of the Brewers and the Packers, or even the Jets?
It is also a time of challenge to concerned parents and school staffs when it comes to building the Developmental Asset #31 “Restraint”. Restraint is having a young person believe it is important to not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs but instead – they choose to be responsible and hold themselves back from unhealthy decisions other peers may be making. When SEARCH Institute surveyed over 100,000 students they found 47% of youth indicated they held the belief that restraint was important and something they wanted to do.
Here are some suggestions that may help parents, schools and those who work with youth to develop restraint as a strong asset in the youth for whom they care.
- Know what’s out there: Be aware of what opportunities exist for your youth to come in contact with alcohol or other drugs. Help them plan on how to say “No” and strategize ways to get out of situations that may be scary. Offer to be their backup and come to their aid if needed without recriminations in that moment. Then the next morning, calmly discuss the situation and any consequences.
- Talk about the temptations: Wild and risky behavior can seem to be the norm when young people mix alcohol, lack of supervision and sex. Often talking about what situations can happen gives young people a grounding point on which they can say “No” and remove themselves safely. The fun-in-the-moment attitude can become the realization of negative, unwanted consequences by talking and safety planning with parents first.
- Gambling among youth is a rising concern. The WI Council on Problem Gambling believes that “More money is bet on football than any other sport.” Gambling is considered by the addiction specialists to be the most difficult addiction to overcome. The reasons given include – it is so prevalent in society and often presented as fund raisers, lottery tickets that promise millions in winnings It is observed at social events with pull tabs and raffles, casinos and on line gambling that has become increasingly popular…..all seem to add a level of legitimacy to the activities. Gambling can truly be a challenge that disrupts many lives.
- Role model: The best way of helping youth develop the asset of Restraint is to role model the appropriate behaviors. The Portage County AODA Coalition uses research and best practices as ways to assist people in Portage County to model responsible behavior. “Putting the fun first” invites families to create fun without using alcohol. Ways to influence our youth begin at home – with restraint.
A recent report on the Marching Band’s behaviors has led the leaders to say the culture of hazing, drinking and inappropriate behaviors has to change. Can we in Portage County say any less?
Web sites with helps for parents in Portage County are:
Portage County Alliance for Youth: www.pcayouth.org
WI Council on Problem Gambling: www.WI-ProblemsGamblers.org
WI Portage County AODA Coalition: www.portagecountyaodacoalition.org
MV Parents.com: Sponsored by Search Institute, many parenting ideas are shared.
Search Institute: www.search-institute.org for a list of Assets to build or contact PCAY at jmak@charter.net for local resources.
