Article by Julie Meintsma. Photo by Michael Jacobs.
When asked how asset building has affected Pastor Carl’s life, he responds, “As I think about it, I grew up in a home of Asset Builders. My mother was the PTA president for our school in Florida, and my father was a chef. Between the two of them, many assets were developed among us, as well as our friends in the neighborhood.”
Now the pastor of St. Louis Park-based Macedonian Evangelical Baptist Missionary Church, Pastor Carl Darrisaw, reminisced about growing up in a very close-knit community in Florida, where parents showed concern for the children in the neighborhood. The teachers kept open communication with parents, and on many occasions took the time to stop by and chat.
“My fourth grade teacher lived next door to me, so we really had to do well; both in school as well as at home, while we played and mingled in the neighborhood,” said Pastor Carl as he described how the assets “Neighborhood Boundaries” and “Caring Neighborhood” intertwined. ”It was quite common for both the teachers as well as other adults in the community to discipline us if we were out of order in the community. However, we realized that the parents in the community were not there simply for discipline, but they shared their various talents with us, played ball with us, and stood up for us when some type of injustice took place…I really felt the love of my community in growing up.”
Family support comes in many forms and for Pastor Carl it came in the form of backyard BBQs. “My father played a crucial role as a chef, he would pull the grill out in the backyard and cook some of his famous barbecue,” Pastor Carl explained. “With the smell of grilling food penetrating the neighborhood; it was like ringing a dinner bell calling everyone in the neighborhood. It was then that I understood the way to a person’s heart was through their stomach. These community type impromptu picnics opened up conversation and a feeling of belonging for others.
In addition to BBQs, his father also took groups of neighborhood kids on outings. Pastor Carl said, “This created a type of extended family, even without being related.”
Pastor Carl took the assets he was given from his childhood and carried them out in his own life and family. “Years later, I began to mimic this type of community involvement when I relocated to Brooklyn. I started to pay attention to the friends that my children hung out with and over time our house became their house,” Pastor Carl explained. “I discovered that my four children got along better when they had their friends around. Therefore, I gave them permission to invite a friend to go on vacation with us… I discovered that this was another avenue to the children’s hearts. While traveling, we engaged in conversations about things that concerned them.”
Reflecting on what a difference asset building makes, Pastor Carl talks of his oldest daughter Monique, who is now a principal in a high school in Brooklyn, NY. “She gave me credit for attributing worth to her, aspiring her to do great things in life. She often thinks of me when making decisions in life. Things that I thought were routine, but done out of love, are now being returned in the lives of my children and their friends. It was all because of the fact that someone instilled in me the importance of taking the time to touch someone else’s life.”
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